How to Find Love (Over Age of 30)
Dating apps can be useful and many people are using them. But how to find love without dating apps? We know finding love at any age can be challenging, but it can be especially so after the age of 30. At this age, how to find love after 30 is 50% luck and 50% attitude/mindset. We cannot control luck, but we can control and change our attitude/mindset. You can also find articles about “Will I Ever Find Love” at other ages.
Keep reading to learn about what I could tell my 30 year old self about how to find love:
- don’t look for perfect match
- be honest about what you want
- choose someone who is kind, considerate and genuine
- love takes time and love takes words
- Trust in yourself. your intuition, your higher self, your inner guidance and living your truth for you
- be wary of ‘soulmate’ feeling, getting lovebombed or mirrored
- meditation, keep your mind in the moment can work miracles
- install new idea and repeat the mantra: ‘I will find love’
If I Could Tell My 30 Year-old Self …
Don’t Look for Perfect Match
- Stop looking for that unicorn. They don’t exist, otherwise you’ll just end up searching forever.
- Stop comparing with others. I often idolize my friends’ relationships, and to be honest, sometimes I get into jealousy mode, thinking that they’ve found someone perfect and that I need to find it too. The truth is the perfect doesn’t exist. Everyone has baggage or things to work through. I have friends who have had it “easy” by comparison, but acknowledge it or not, part of their success was due to their attitude and focus.
- A lot of people are faking happiness, just like my last relationship. On the outside we looked like a perfectly happy couple, but we had a sex less relationship for several years and were fighting a lot at home. Things aren’t always what they seem.
- Relationships can change. Even if at the moment, you find someone terrific, and you think this is what you’ve wanted and been waiting for. but, then. that person will inevitably not be perfect and you say to yourself, “Do I need this?” Everyone has flaws, and if you accept them, they accept you.
Be Honest about What You Want
As getting over age of 30, your thoughts about what you want is evolving and maturing.
- Make a list of your non-negotiables. Identify the qualities and values that are important to you in a partner, such as shared interests, similar goals, and compatibility in areas like communication and conflict resolution.
- Be clear with your communication. When you’re communicating with potential partners, be clear and direct about what you’re looking for. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or express your needs.
- Don’t settle. It can be tempting to settle for less than what you want in a partner out of fear of being alone. However, settling for less than what you want will only lead to dissatisfaction and heartache in the long run.
- Be open-minded. Be open to the idea that the person you’re looking for may not be exactly what you imagined, but may still be the perfect fit for you.
- Be authentic and true to yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, or try to hide your true self in order to attract a partner. Being true to yourself will attract the right person for you.
Choose Someone Who is Kind, Considerate and Genuine
- He/She could have an amazing job, be super intelligent, cute, etc. None of that makes a person a “catch”. What makes the person a “catch” is when he/she is consistent and respectful in his/her communication, not emotionally volatile, self love and be kind to himself/herself and others, etc.
Love Takes Time and Works
- It’s easy to have the rush of emotion with a new partner with all the physical attractions, amazing sex and ‘soulmate’ feelings, it doesn’t mean they will be there when you are in hard time, it doesn’t mean they will validate you when you feel insecure and need assurance, it doesn’t mean they will take your call after a fight. True relationship takes time and effort to get to work.
- Remember there must be purges, triggers, difficulties, doubts, fear and insecurity, all kinds of moments and feelings. You cannot go through unless you are focusing on yourself. You learn to accept where you are no matter what’s happening to continually get balanced and peaceful and centred over and over again.
Be Wary of ‘Soulmate’ Feeling
- Your partner may bomb you with love, sex, gifts, acts of kindness or gestures which may seem amazing. The end goal is to win you over.
- Mirroring is when they act or adapt behaviours or interests in a way that resembles your interests, making you feel:” He/she is just like me…a perfect match…”
- Neither is genuine and both are temporary. These are control and manipulation tools to bring you closer and make you fall for their trap.
- People are always searching for answers in life. It would make things easier to just have someone give us the answer. But, finding love journey is your personal path, other people don’t know your heart and soul. You and you alone, know exactly what the answers are, you just need to search for it, although you have to work against doubt and fear.
- Trust in yourself, your intuition, your higher self, your inner guidance and living your truth for you. The relationship itself isn’t the goal. It is your own peace, happiness, fulfillment is the goal for you.
Meditating and Installing ‘I will find love’ idea
Usually what you’re insecure about is something in the past, and what you’re anxious about is in the future. When you are concerned about “I will never find love”, you are planting ‘I will never find love’ idea. And once the idea has taken hold of your brain, it’s hard to override it. It becomes automatic.
If you repeat the idea 100 times a day, there will be a negative feedback loop between what your subconscious mind communicates with the universe and what your conscious mind repeat, believe and trust due to the ‘ACT’ criteria. Instead,
- You can install a new idea – ‘I will find love’ or ‘I attract healthy & loving people into my life’ or ‘I am a magnet, I attract people’, repeat this mantra: “I don’t chase, I attract. What belongs to me will simply find me”.
- Read a lot of books. They will shape the way you think. Which will shape the way you are. Which will shape the way you think.
- The present is the result of the thoughts you had in the past & the future is the result of the thoughts you have at this very nanosecond.
- Due to the Law of Attraction, those words of the mind and the power of thoughts can guide us to retake control of our life. We could incorporate wise words into our daily meditation routine to reign our wandering minds in finding love journey. Day by day, working toward enlightenment will help us start a fulfilling life.
Bottom Line of How to Find Love (Over Age of 30)
How to find love over age of 30? What we think matters. Wayne Dyer said it well:
“if you are what you think about, then you have to get really careful with what you think about. If you want to attract what’s good in your life, but you’re talking about what’s missing, and you’re thinking about what’s missing, you will continue to expand what’s missing.
I never talk about what’s missing in my life. I only put my attention on what I intend to create. Whatever it is you want to attract in your life, say to yourself: it’s on its way. Four words. Get them tattooed in front of your eyelids. Then, you say something to fall in love with.
Why have any of us learned to say ‘with my luck’ and having it mean that things aren’t going to work out? Why wouldn’t you say and have it as your habit ‘with my luck, it’ll probably show up faster than it normally does.’
Here’s what happens. As you begin to shift the way you think, you can only act upon your thoughts. And as you start acting upon that thought, you start to become a collaborator with fate.”