What are your non negotiables in a relationship? Building a lasting relationship demands a strong foundation. So, like constructing a house needs a blueprint, you must have relationship non negotiables. These are not just about your own interests. They ensure you and your partner are on the same page.
A non negotiable is an essential quality, trait, value or behavior that is indispensable to your happiness and well being in a relationship. They signify the bedrock of every committed and healthy relationship that is also healthy and joyful.
Having non negotiables may even help you determine when you are determine whether you are being love bombed or in a genuine relationship.
Types of Non Negotiables in a Relationship
Your personal life, boundaries and core values should guide your non negotiables in a successful relationship. This is why they are different for everyone. Remember, defining them not only benefits you but your partner as well, making for a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling partnership.
When identifying non negotiables, you can use this list for some of the basic core values:
- Respect: Respect is a non negotiable that means valuing each other’s perspectives, dreams, and feelings. It can even guide the boundaries we put in place for our personal space or be the bedrock for resolving conflicts.
- Honesty: Honesty is a non negotiable that means being open and candid, even when it’s uncomfortable.
- Acceptance of Family Members: Be willing to accept each other’s family. Your family members are a part of your individual personal life. And as long as they are not toxic to your relationship, you need to be open to accepting each other’s family.
- Openness: Openness is also one of the important non negotiable values. You want a partner who shares freely, even when they don’t share your ideas or opinions. You also don’t want a partner in a serious relationship who keeps secrets or lies.
- Trust: Trust is another non negotiable. They built on consistent behavior and keeping promises.
- Effective communication: This non negotiable is the lifeblood of any relationship. It’s the vehicle for expressing needs, desires, and concerns. A relationship also thrives when feelings are not just acknowledged, but also valued and responded to.
- Shared goals: Although you need your own interests and personal space, shared goals knit a couple together. They can help you become a better team marching towards a common vision.
- Acceptance of differences: Each partner is unique, and embracing their dissimilarities strengthens the bond. These differences can be political beliefs or how you navigate certain things. You must also have mutual support for each other’s differences as it also aids spiritual compatibility and enhances your emotional well being.
- Authenticity: Authenticity is also one of the important non negotiable values. Being true to oneself and the other breeds an environment of acceptance and love.
- Chemistry: Chemistry is also a crucial non negotiable. not just physical chemistry, but emotional and intellectual ones too.
- No abusive behavior: You want a partner that does not resort to emotional or physical violence. This is an important non negotiable. Your partner must have great strategies for resolving conflicts to avoid emotional abuse. This is especially when there’s no hope that you might get on the same page about something.
- No substance abuse: You also need a partner that has healthy coping mechanisms. This parameter can also guard against abusive behavior or physical violence.
- Physical affection: For some people physical affection is one of the important relationship non negotiables. It constantly helps you remember that your partner is there for you.
- Mutual support: The both of you must work hard towards supporting each other’s goals, visions, and desires. This is a crucial non negotiable to a lasting relationship.
Communicating Your Non Negotiables in a Relationship
Your relationship non negotiables should be clear from the beginning of a relationship. Yet, many people neglect to talk about them from the onset. But since they are the bedrock of your expectations and boundaries, they help avoid future conflicts.
These relationship non-negotiables aren’t fixed. As you grow and evolve personally, these principles may transform too.
It’s all about maintaining a balance between respecting your own desires, core values, and needs while also accommodating your partner’s.
But how do we communicate these to our partner? Here are some tips that can help:
- Be clear, positive, and specific: Firstly, phrase your non negotiable positively. Instead of focusing on what you can’t tolerate, emphasize what you value. For instance, saying “respect is important to me” instead of “I can’t stand disrespect”.
- Timing: Find a calm, relaxed moment to talk about these crucial matters, rather than in the heat of an argument.
- Be prepared for disagreements: They will inevitably arise when discussing non-negotiables. However, you need to remain calm and empathetic. Understand your partner’s perspective, but firmly stand your ground regarding your deal breakers. Remember, these are the foundations of your wellbeing in a committed relationship.
What to Do When Partner’s Non Negotiables Oppose Each Other
When discussing non negotiable aspects of a relationship, conflicts are often an overlooked subject. It’s inevitable, especially when a pair of deal breakers clash.
But how do you navigate such a scenario without losing the essence of your relationship? It’s crucial to understand and respect your partner’s non-negotiables, as they reflect their core values and essentials in a relationship. And when they oppose yours, it’s a delicate balance of compromise and understanding.
Remember, your non negotiable is a pillar of a relationship, not a weapon for conflicts. Here are some tips that can help:
- Open Dialogue: Maintain open communication about your expectations.
- Find Compromises: Seek solutions that meet both partners’ needs.
- Respect Personal Boundaries: Honor each other’s non-negotiables.
- Professional Help: Consider seeking couples therapy if conflicts persist. A mutual party can help both of you discuss your core values. They can also provide emotional support and guidance as you work through your differences.
Navigating Your Relationship Non Negotiables Beyond Romance
It is important to realize that your non negotiables in a relationship ensure your emotional well being and safety. This is why they are not limited to romantic relationships. They can be applied in friendships, professional relationships, and family ties as well.
Hence, identifying these helps set clear personal boundaries and expectations, fosters mutual respect, and builds a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. The process of defining these needs requires self-exploration and patience.
Overall, defining non negotiables in a relationships is like setting your navigation system before embarking on a trip, guiding you towards healthier and more reliable connections. They help set your boundaries and ensure that you’re with someone who truly aligns with your values and desires. Don’t be afraid to communicate these non-negotiables with your partner. After all, honest communication is the foundation of any strong relationship.
